I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
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when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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