so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
