we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize