I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize