chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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