I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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