i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
