***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Even my vagina gasped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
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