Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
