so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
