don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
