Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
