I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
