Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
