Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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