i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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