I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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