my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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