woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
