Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
