You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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