If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
