Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
