idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
