Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize
