this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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