I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
