i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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