loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
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