lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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