you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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