: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
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