So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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