just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
do nipples grow back?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
