me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
