my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
