Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
