I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
