Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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