I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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