My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
