What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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