Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
3pm strippers are depressing
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
