I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
