i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Randomize
