This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
