Yo dont text me then not text me
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
