well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
