apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
