Who wears a wallet chain?!
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
