:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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