i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
