i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Randomize
