Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
pop tarts are not kleenex
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize