I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
