when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
he thought i was a dude.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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