im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
