You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
