so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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