Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize