margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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