I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
