Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
