this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Randomize
