WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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